I hitched a ride into town with random stranger (kids, don't try this at home), worked exactly 30 minutes and then decided I was no use to anyone and should get back to the car before it got towed. Hitched another ride with a not-quite stranger. On the way there we saw three cars stuck in the ditch and two others in the process of getting pulled out. Just as I was despairing of ever getting a tow truck out (I called several who laughed at me when I asked how long they thought it would take to get to me) another not-quite stranger pulled up, declared his Land Rover could tow it anywhere ("as long as you keep your head out of your butt when you drive, this thing will never get stuck") and proceeded to do so.
I owe a lot of people cookies when this is all over.
Also I unclogged a toilet all my own today. Clearly I am on my way to being a Real Adult now.